Look with Your Hands: Confessions of a Newlywed

Courtesy of Lasting
Images by Lennae Warren

I realize that LwYH is primarily a blog about you, the reader, but today I'm going to make an exception to brag about something: I have now been married for five years!

Thank you, thank you... yes, we're congratulating ourselves, too. lol

I'm not sure why, but people say that the first five years of marriage are the hardest. That can't really be the case... my first five years absolutely flew by. I am still amazed when I realize how long it's been. I was recently asked by a (very) newlywed what our "secret" is, and it dawned on me that we don't really have a secret. Honestly, though, I wouldn't feel qualified to answer that question if we did. Is anyone? No two couples have the same marriage, do they?

So rather than share some profound "secret", here are some thoughts on marriage from someone who got married last week -- err, five years ago. :-)

If it's important to them, it's important to you. If your spouse has something that they are passionate about, make it your passion, too! If your wife spends a lot of time in her craft room, guys, come up and hang out with her from time to time. And wives, make sure there's always room for him to sit. (The same goes for the garage, girls... I know, I know... it's a scary place, but hang out with him while he works on his motorcycle from time to time!)
Learn how to fight properly. My sister-in-law and I were talking about this recently: in a marriage, you never learn how not to fight. You just get better at it (just be careful to 'get better' in the right way!) Remember that you're still going to be married when the fight's over and you're getting along again, so don't say or do anything that will truly injure each other. Fight through things that you can, and give in when you must, and never, ever "reheat each other's sins for breakfast"!
Never stop having fun. We joke constantly, and giggle all the time. Quite simply, the couple that is laughing together doesn't notice the years zipping past.
Protect your marriage. Don't focus on the other 'things' in your life and neglect to take care of what is most important. Even if you have a spouse that may "understand this" or "get over that," never think that they are last on the ol' priorities list. Remember, 'things' only last a season, but marriage, a lifetime.

I could keep going, but I'm not recording a book here. Instead, I'll share what others have said:

"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage." ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
"In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all." ~Anne Sophie Swetchine
"Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day." ~ Gene Perret

And finally, a picture of us "newlyweds" (courtesy of Lasting Images by Lennae Warren).